5 Ways to Be the Best Mom and Grandma Ever
I can’t believe I’m a grandma to two amazing grandchildren and four dope kids. I have two daughters and two sons. My oldest daughter is now a mom to my grandson and granddaughter. My oldest son is about to graduate highschool and begin college. We are awaiting the rest of his acceptance letters, but so far he’s been accepted here on a full scholarship and here (if you go see make sure you come back now!)
Its an exciting time in my life and part of that feeling is because of my children and grandchildren’s success and well-being. When they are doing good, I feel good. Years ago I left the work force to be at home full-time with my kids. My husband and I decided we only get one opportunity at being parents and wanted to give our kids the best relationship experience and home environment possible. To do that, one of had to be primarily focused on creating a home filled with love, support, encouragement and room to develop into healthy adults. During that time I was raising my kids, but they were also raising me. They helped me become a better woman, wife and mom because I needed to be that for myself, my husband and for them.
Now that my kids are all almost adults, let me take a moment to reflect on how we got here but sharing 5 Ways to Be the Best Mom and Grandma Ever.
1 – Be Patient
They say “patience is a virtue” and virtue means “behavior showing high moral standards”. Early in my parenting I decided to patiently mother my children. I didn’t always get it right and for years I missed the mark until one day everything came together and I began to gain control over how I responded to them. I spoke softer. I was less frustrated. I rushed less and let them be kids. Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. That’s how I wanted to be remembered by my children and grandchildren so I decided and did the work until I mastered the art of patience. If you struggle with being a patient mama, go read about how I mastered this area on my other blog.
2 – Love Unrestricted
To love unrestricted means to love without holding back out of fear of being hurt, taken advantage of, unappreciated or disappointed. With 24 years of parenting under my belt I’m going to let you in on a little secret. You will be hurt, taken advantage of, unappreciated and disappointed with and by your kids at time. It’s part of the package. Remember who you are dealing with. Kids will generally be self-centered in the younger years, but we have a natural inclination to do what it best for us first, but if you’re a good mama, you’ll teach them about service, sacrifice and selflessness. As a mom, get ready to pour out all of who you are for their benefit with no instantaneous reward. It will take years for you to fully see the reward of everything you sacrifice for them, but if you love them unrestricted and teach then that love means giving, they will get it and you will hopefully get that same unrestricted love back as they become adults.
3 – Have Family Fun
One thing my kids will tell you is that I always tried to do something fun with them. Some things they didn’t realize at the time, but later came to see how much fun they had as kids. We did a lot together as a family. At least once a week we carved out time for games, movies, take-out night or something fun as a family. As your kids get around peers they may feel like family time is corny, but keep it up regardless. They will have families someday and teaching them value of spending time together will make an impact on your grandchildren and future son/daughter in-laws.
4 – Don’t Use One Child As The Standard
This is a biggie with me. I hope my kids feel like I got it right in this area. With four amazing kids, I recognize that each of them is uniquely different. Each of them has special gifts and talents that makes them who they are. My kids are not perfect by any stretch of the imagination and neither are their parents, but we don’t put either of our kids down because they aren’t like their siblings. We don’t make our kids feel like the have to live up to the standard of their other siblings. We do talk to them about their potential and about using asking the other sibling to share their strengths to help them if they want it, but we don’t want copies of our kids. We encourage each of them to do their best and we push them to be their best. As a parent, who has spent a lot of time getting to know my kids I’ll just say this….I know my kids. I have an intimate knowledge of their gifts, talents, limitations, struggles and strengths are. That comes from being intently focused on raising them for the last 15+ or so years of my life. Great moms and grandmas don’t push their kids to be a version of their other children, they push them to be the best version of themselves.
5 – Time = LOVE
It’s a known fact that people measure love in the time you spend with and on them. Time is the on commodity we can not get back so I recommend you to invest it wisely. Some would say spend it wisely, but I use the word invest because investments imply a return. All of the time I’ve spent with my kids and grandkids has made me a better person and is making them better. Every talk, hug, laugh, cry, scolding…all of it amounts to love. If you don’t care about someone you don’t intentionally carve out time to train, help, correct, love on and support that person. If you could do more of anything with your kids or grandkids this year, let it be investing more time in them. Make yourself more available if you’ve fallen short in this area. Put you devices down, and turn them off and really dig in and love on the little ones in your life.
Now it’s your turn. Are you a mom or grandma? What would you add to this list of ways to be the best mom or grandma?